Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
