shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
im drinking this country out of the recession.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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