Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I just blew my weed a kiss
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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