I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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