Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
no, he came in my armpit
it was like his penis was on wheels.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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