He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
it's great music for shaving your balls
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
