I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
