Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
