remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Randomize
