i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
