I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
