Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
The struggles of a small town man whore
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize