You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
