I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize