We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
