i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
