Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
