I hope mine doesn't look like that
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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