Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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