I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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