Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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