we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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