Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
