I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
