Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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