It's just like the Real World with babies
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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