Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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