This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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