my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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