Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
