I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Say something about gay babies.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
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I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
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