D3 body, D1 cock
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
