I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I love you. Go after that dick
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
