Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
