When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
A+ Viking dick
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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