Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Randomize
