I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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