You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
