Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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