I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Acid is not a monday night drug
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
