Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
