Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
