im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
