I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
