does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
