How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
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