I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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