That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
