he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
