Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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