He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
