and my herpes radar will keep us safe
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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