therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
