and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
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I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
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corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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