i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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