Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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