Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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