Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
