Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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