I would go down on you faster than GM stock
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
and you fell through a lawn chair