Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Dating After Heartbreak
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.