plz talk dirty to me
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"