why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."