Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!