I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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