I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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