My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
