Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
