I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Fuck appropriateness.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
