Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize