nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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