Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
