This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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