He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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