thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize