Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
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It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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