Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
as a side note pls kill me
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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